Saturday, December 27, 2008

YOU'RE GONNA MISS THIS MOMENT

My parents have been divorced since 1979. I was ten years old at the time. I can't even imagine my children going through something like that at their age. It's devastating, to say the least. But, that's another post in itself!

My dad got remarried pretty quickly. I would say at least a year later. I'm pretty sure that it was out of rebound, but they are still married to this day. Unfortunately, we're not very close to him. Yes, we will see him every so often, but this has been the case for a long time now. I don't want to put all the blame on my step mom, but we know she has had the control of my dad from day one. Call it insecurity, but it is what it is. As much as we want our kids to have that relationship with him, it is a two way street. Boy, that just gave me a glimpse on how the Lord wants a relationship with us! It's a two way street!!

Anyway, all our kids (mine and my sisters) do know and love him, but they don't question why we don't see him as much. I think that is just what they are used to, and don't know any different. So, you can imagine the joy my sister and I have when our kids are all together with my dad. It's like one of those "rare moments." I know this is so terrible to say, but if my dad was not married to her, he would be the best grandpa. He's got the best combinations. Patience, gentleness, and affection. He's getting up there in age, so I will definitely miss the moments that he will see all his grandchildren in one place and enjoy them while he's still on this earth.

December 2008
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17 comments:

He And Me + 3 said...

That is a great moment to remember, and one that I am sure you will miss someday...but for now cherish and create all those great memories so you will never forget!
XO,
Mimi

Laura said...

That is great! What a picture to cherish. Praying that there are more times like these for your family.

Susie said...

That's a great moment:-) I hope he is around long enough to have many more!

Lisa said...

I know when Tito's mom passed it did not take long for him to find a companion and some of the family has a problem with this. I know his dad would be lost without a woman so I am happy for him. He was faithful to her and took care of her while she was sick so......

That is great to have had that moment and may you have many many many more. Great picture.

momstheword said...

I cherish all the pictures of my children with my dad. The ones I love the best are the ones when he was healthy and was "himself." Toward the end of his life he just looked more feeble, if you know what I mean.

On my husband's side my kids had a great grandma but they didn't know that their step-grandpa was "lacking" in many areas. He was into control too. We kept it from the kids and fortunately, they never really noticed any tension.

Debra said...

Alicia,

Ok, just reading this made the tears start to stream down my face. I come from a divorced parents too and you are so right...that moment with your father and those children is to be cherished.

I can remember a time when I had surgery in 1990 and my father and my mother came to see me at the same time...it was the first time I had been alone in a room with my parents since I was 8 when they divorced and I remember I busted out crying at just looking at both of them together.

You are also right when you say we could post many posts on divorce and the trauma it causes. I am so happy for Jesus and how He teaches us to love through all things.

Blessings to you my sweet sister. I pray you had a blessed Christmas!!

McCrakensx4 said...

What a great shot you have. Cherish the momories you make and hold them dear. Unfortunately, Ryan and his dad are not on speaking terms and it is hard for the boys to understand why they (him & his wife) don't stay in touch.

Denise said...

Thanks for sharing this, bless you my friend.

Pam said...

I don't think I have noticed you posting before on my Carnival... welcome... your moment here kind of breaks my heart... my kids will be you one day, I wish it wouldn't be this way for them either... but it is... glad you are getting some time with him... too bad it is so seldom... here's praying something changes... for you, your children, and for mine... open their eyes to see what they are missing in NOT spending every moment they can with these kids... thanks for playing along, I hope you come back again. be blessed.

Florida Girl said...

I love your post. I was looking at pictures of my grandfather tonight & thinking of how much I miss him. He passed away when I was 13. He gave us lots of great memories, but I do miss those days with him. My grandmother doesn't initiate a relationship with us anymore. She hasn't for many years. I think about her often & visit now & then, but not as much as I'd really like to.
Maybe your kids & your sisters kids can all send him a homemade card or something telling him how much they love being with him. Maybe that would spur him on to be more involved. You may have to initiate the relationship with your dad more than he, but it might be worth it for your kids. I wish I were closer to all my grandparents. Just a thought.
Thanks for your post.

BeLovedAiMeE said...

Mother Goose said...

a very touching and beautiful post. It is heartfelt and full of grace.

I am glad that you have a strong relationship with your husband. One that doesn't come without troubles but one that is strong to know you can work through and compromise so that your children do not have to go through what you did. Divorce does happen and sometimes it is for the best.
I know there are many misunderstandings and many communication barriers of the past. She probably believes you blame her as well. It would cause a rift and face it "the other woman" will always take most of the blame. why do we do that when we know where most of the blame lies. It is a decsion of two.

Your dad is a good man. He loves his grandchildren and his children. time is so short. It would be a good year if you could be with him and his wife together, in your home, a safe haven.

Davisix said...

I can so relate to this post Alicia. Thank you for being honest and open about it. The pic is great and will make a wonderful momento. BTW...I used to be on your list of followers but now I'm not. I wonder if it happened when Edward crashed. :( I'm signing back up. :) xoxoxox Ang

Everyday Mom Designs said...

That's great! Very good memories..

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blueviolet said...

Oh that picture is so wonderful. I love those family gathering shots!

Named Alicia said...

What great memories! Even though my family is very dysfunctional, I love to have all of the cousins get together. They need those memories. I hope they are building family bonds that will continue when they are grown. Who knows what the next generation will face and/or accomplish?!?!

Thanks for sharing my friend!
I hope you have a great week!

Daphine said...

This was a great post! It hit close to home for me as this is almost the same story with my own dad! Great picture! Thanks for sharing Alicia!